To Build a Fire

  Maybe I was being hasty, but I thought spreading out the wee bag of kindling I purchased at the camp store over some crumpled up notebook paper would be sufficient to ignite a cheery blaze at campsite #26 on Mount Pisgah along the Blue Ridge Parkway.  Humidity, it turns out is a bitch. So is incompetence in fire starting.  After 20 minutes of cursing and coaxing, I managed only to singe my corneas and inhale a carton of Camel non filters worth of smoke. 

Lacking a Vietnam era flamethrower, I resorted to placing three sticks of crooked firewood directly onto the burner of my Coleman gas grill. After thirty seconds, I used salad tongs to lift the fiery swastika into the fire pit. Then I sat basking in the glow, marveling at all the time I saved not earning an Eagle Scout badge.

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2 thoughts on “To Build a Fire

  1. If you don’t make this into a book I’m going to cut and paste all of this and make one for you. Finally stopped laughing enough to comment here. Keep em coming!! (Where’s the beard?)

    Liked by 1 person

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