Uno:  Don’t shake the hand of a person of the opposite sex unless you’re closing on a real estate deal.  One quick, but genuine kiss to the right cheek and you are Senor Rico Suave.

Dos: Remember that as a pedestrian, you hold the same status with drivers as a stray chicken.

Tres: Despite the Latin American stereotype, Argentinians, particularly in Buenos Aires moves right along quite nicely.  I kept showing up to stuff early expecting a cluster and was pleasantly disappointed.

Cuatro: Tip like a rock star. Yeah, yeah, tipping 10% or less is customary in other countries but you’re not from ‘other countries’. Not if you’re a friend of mine. Point is, unlike some Europeans who might think you’re a sucker for dropping 20% percent everywhere you go (I’m talking to you, Malta),  Argentinians are hurting financially. They’re  nice people who really appreciate a generous propino (which would be a great name for an erectile dysfunction drug).

Cinco: I can only think of four things. Sue me.